Troubles of Irken Romance
by Phoenix lord of rebirth
Summary: Zim's loyal S.I.R. unit, Gir, hears a comment made offhand. This spurs him to try to make his master less lonely. What happens when the Tallests find out and "help" the Invader out by introducing a contest to find Zim a mate? Zim/Harem.
1. Chapter 1

**Phoenix: Hello world and all who inhabit it.**

 **V.C.: We are here to bring you all** **dooom** **!**

 **Frostwing: Okay… No more Invader Zim for him.**

 **K.N.: Would you rather we go back to Rick and Morty?**

 **Phoenix/Frostwing: NO!**

 **V.C.: MWHAHAHA! Then all shall bow before the Almighty Doom!**

 **Frostwing: ALRIGHT ALREADY! WE GET IT! DOOM! NOW SHUT UP!**

 **K.N.:(Playing a Game Slave) Who cares? As long as we're here the world does not matter.**

 **Phoenix: Can I kill him? Please say I can kill him.**

 **V.C.: No! He is necessary for my plans!**

 **Frostwing: What did I say about shutting up?**

 **K.N.: Oh will all of you just shut the hell up! I lost my game of Vampire Piggy Slayer cause of you! Now you die!**

 **Phoenix:Well folks... Looks like we gotta run. On with the story!**

 **Disclaimer: We do not own Invader Zim. If we did there would be more episodes and a full length movie. Enjoy!**

 ** _Troubles of Irken Romance_** ** _:_**

 _ **Chapter 1: The Doom Begins**_

The story begins in an odd house in an odd town. In this large, very strange looking house lived a humanoid creature with green skin, no ears or noses, crimson red eyes with no whites or pupils, and antenna. He was currently standing in his doorway instructing a robot disguised as a small green dog to protect their home while he was away.

"Gir! While Zim is away at skool be sure that no human worm babies enter Zim's glorious base! Is Zim understood?" The odd creature, named Zim, glared down at his robotic servant. Gir smiled and nodded wordlessly. "Good! And stay out of Zim's lab! We do **NOT** want a repeat of the zombie weasels incident!"

"Okie dokie." Gir simply answered with a dopey smile and both hands having their fingers crossed behind his back.

Zim kept his narrow gaze on the robot for a minute longer before sighing. "Fine, I shall be off then." He muttered something else afterwards but most would not have been able to hear him. Except that Gir heard it clear as day and grew worried about his master. However, it was too late for the robot to ask as Zim was already gone.

"Uh-oh," Gir said to no one in particular. "Mah mastah is feelin' all lonely...I know what ta do!" With that he sprinted off for the entrance to Zim's secret laboratory.

 _ **Meanwhile:**_

The view focuses into a large red alien warship floating in the dark void of space. Inside were many green poking from their green skinned creatures with no ears or noses, eyes with no whites or pupils, and antenna Sitting in the captain's room were two of the tallest members of this odd alien species.

One of them had red eyes and wore a red combat suit, his name was Red. The other next to him had purple eyes and wore a purple combat suit, his name was Purple. They were both sitting around lazily, occasionally throwing a donut into their mouths. Their laziness was interrupted by an incoming transmission from Earth.

Red sighed. "Ugh, I really hate it when Zim interrupts our relaxation time."

"I guess we better accept it," Purple shrugged while throwing another donut in his mouth. "I mean, if we want to keep this dumb ruse going. Though you'd think he'd grow a brain and see through our little game."

Red chuckled in agreement before turning to the screen and accepting the transmission. However, instead of the short defective Irken they were expecting to see, the duo saw a small robot with cyan eyes and a goofy smile on his face.

"Hi dere!" The small robot shouted out at them both. His eyes then suddenly turned crimson red as he entered Duty Mode. "I am Gir, S.I.R. unit of Invader Zim of Earth." Gir then switched back at random. "An' do I have somethin' to tell ya!"

"What do you want?" Red asked in annoyance.

"Mah mastah is really lonely," The small machine reported to the duo. "I think dat he wants a pretty lady in his life. He tells me all da time dat invaders need no one, but he nevah actually says he don't like somebody. I think he's just afraid of the laws youse have."

Red and Purple glanced between each other. They would normally become furious at the thought of any of their soldiers feeling such emotions. Purple went to say just that when Red had a brilliantly evil idea. He pulled back Purple and spoke to the small S.I.R. unit. "I see...well then, I believe I know just the thing for our dear friend Zim."

"Could you give us a minute?" Purple asked the malfunctioning S.I.R.

Gir switched back to Duty Mode for a brief moment. "Yes My Tallests."

Red and Purple went to a corner where the robot could not hear them. When they were sure they were far enough away, Purple began questioning his friend. "Red what on Irk were you thinking? I know that tone you had, it's your 'I'm plotting' tone. So tell me what your thinking."

"Oh Purple, don't you see the opportunity to have some fun here?" Red's eyes shone with mischief. "We can use Zim's pathetic feelings of longing to create a new source of entertainment. We'll hold a 'competition' for Zim among some random female Irkens and allow the hilarity to make itself."

"Hmm." An evil smile spread across Purple's face as he couldn't help but laugh at the idea. He turned back to the screen where Gir was waiting with a bag full of tacos by his side. "Gir, I think we have a solution to your problem. As soon as Zim is available, have him contact us."

Gir smiled his usual goofy smile. "Okay!" With that the transmission ended and Gir devoured a taco whole. "Mastah is gonna be so happy when he comes home."

 _ **Later:**_

Zim entered his home to see it was perfectly clean. "Something is wrong here, GIR!"

"YES MASTER!" Gir shouted while in Duty Mode.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"Nooothing." Gir exaggerated, returning to his normal self. "Oh yeah! Da Tallests wanna talk to ya!"

"I see." Zim paused for a moment before his eyes flashed with fury. "Wait a minute, why do the Tallests wish to speak to Zim?"

"Um...well...ya see…" Gir smiled sheepishly while rubbing the back of his head. "I mighta called dem while youse was in skool."

Zim felt pure rage all throughout his body as his eyes twitched and his fists curled. He was about to lung at the robot with full intent on smashing him into tiny bits when the transmission receiver activated. "INCOMING TRANSMISSION FROM THE TALLESTS!"

"Gah!" Zim jumped in surprise and fear as he quickly accepted the call. "M-my Tallests...what do I owe this honor of being called upon for?"

"Zim," Red spoke evenly. "We received a call earlier from your S.I.R. unit expressing that you feel lonely by yourself on planet Earth. Therefore Purple and myself have decided to organize a little 'competition'."

"C-competition?" Zim stuttered. "Invaders need no one! I, The Almighty Zim, need no one but myself and the despair of my enemies!"

"That's not what the robot was saying." Purple piped up. "Besides, you have no choice in this matter. We already got everything set up for the competition and plan on airing live as soon as possible."

Zim sighed in defeat. "Very well then, what is the competition about?"

Both Tallests grinned wickedly as they shared a glance before turning back to the small Irken. "You see Zim," Red started with glee in his crimson eyes. "It's about you, seven girls will fight for the grand prize of being your mate."

"But I thought only the Tallests were allowed to have mates." Zim pointed out, not wanting anything to do with this. "Besides, a mate signifies the ugly disease known as love. I would never-."

"We are making an exception for our 'favorite' invader." Red said with a small amount of difficulty. "Surely you wouldn't spit upon our request."

"Never!" Zim shook his head violently. "I will take part in this game!"

Red grinned evilly. "Then let the game begin! The girls will be at your base shortly, so try to prepare to the best of your abilities while we prepare everything."

"Certainly My Tallests! Invader Zim out1" With that the transmission cut and Red and Purple immediately burst out in laughter.

"That fool took it!" Purple gawfulled while reaching for a nearby box of donuts. "And that part of him being our favorite...perfect! But I do have one question Red."

"What is it Purple?"

"Where are we going to find girls willing to do this with Zim?" Purple asked, fearing that they may have made a small mistake.

Red paused for a moment in realization before shrugging. "I'm honestly not sure. I didn't really think that far ahead."

Purple thought it over for a minute then had an idea. "We could always just put out an ad in the IrkenWeb and see who takes it."

"Eh, why not? What could possibly go wrong?" Red shrugged while grabbing a donut from Purple's box.

"Well, I dunno. What if this all blows up in our faces like Impending Doom?" Purple asked while holding the donut box to his chest protectively. "And quit takin' my donuts!"

Red ignored his friend and turned to one of the many servants aboard the ship. "You there! I want you to put an ad in the IrkenWeb for our new comedy show-I mean competition for Zim!"

 _ **A Few Days Later:**_

Zim was sitting at his base wracked with nerves. He had received another transmission the day before saying that the Tallests would be there tomorrow with the contestants. He was shaking with fear because all throughout his life he had only interacted with one female of his species and that was Tak. ' _That wretched Tak-beast has quite the honor there. But still, I almost wish she were here to help me figure out how to handle other females of our race.'_ He blushed at that thought.

However, the ground began to violently shake before anything else could happen. Zim was wondering if this was the cause of an earthquake for a minute but quickly realized otherwise as he looked out his window. Above his base was the Massive itself. In a nearby house, a boy with an abnormally large head looked outside and immediately fainted from the sheer presence of such a marvelous sight.

A flash of light appeared in Zim's base that died down to reveal Red and Purple along with seven different Irken females. However, to Zim's surprise, and dismay, he actually recognized who one of them was. "TAK?!"

"Hello Zim." Tak grinned evilly at her former enemy.

What Zim said next shocked the group. "Zim must say you surprised him with your appearance. Zim will have to try harder not to be distracted by you again, although Zim must know why his greatest rival is doing here."

"What do you think I am doing here?" Tak arched a brow while smirking. "I am here to compete in this competition the Tallests set up."

"You are aware that the prize is that you become my mate correct? Zim means that mate and kill are two separate terms and Zim would hate it if you had confused them."

"Of course I know that you twit." Tak smacked his arm while grinning. "Who says I do not want to become your mate?"

"You mean besides all the attempts on my life?" Zim growled, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

Tak giggled while rolling her eyes. "Oh come now, that was in the past-."

"That was last week."

"First off, do not cut me off while I am mid sentence!" She glared at the Irken male before her. "Second, I was hurled into outer space in an escape pod! Can you blame me for being a little angry?"

"My apologies for interrupting, I simply could not control it. It was very unbecoming of me. I must know though why you of all Irkens would want to be **my mate?** "

"Well," Tak blushed a bright crimson. "While up in space, I had a lot of time to think things over. At first, I thought about how angry I was at you, but eventually I started to think about you in a different light. I tried hiding it by focusing on my anger, so as to not get deactivated by the Tallests for feeling positive emotions," She glanced away from the Irken male before her. "But I heard about this and decided this was my chance."

"So you are saying that you, my greatest rival and one of the most beautiful Irkens I know, want to be my mate because you actually like me?" Zim was shocked beyond anything that had shocked him before.

"Yes Zim, that is exactly what I am saying." Tak nodded in clarification.

However, before anything else could be said between the duo, Red cut them off by clearing his throat. "Zim, I believe that you have other women to meet and converse with." He motioned to the other girls behind him and Zim blushed before going to introduce himself to them all.

 _ **To Be Continued...**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Phoenix: Hello everyone, welcome back.**

 **V.C.: Yes, welcome back...to your DOOM! Mwahahahaha!**

 **Frostwing(Glares at V.C.): I thought we had a talk about you going Zim-y after last time.**

 **K.N.: So long as none of you disturb my game then I will leave you alone.**

 **Phoenix(Sweatdrop): Okay...? Anyways, we hope you liked the last chapter and would like to remind you all to review if you enjoy this one.**

 **V.C.: Yes, indeed. If you wish to give us ideas or opinions then please leave a review and we will at least consider them.**

 **Frostwing: With all that said, onto the second chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: We do not own Invader Zim. We do own the OCs created for this story. Enjoy!**

 _ **Chapter 2: The Invader**_

"Hello, my name is Zim." The short Irken Invader introduced himself while blushing. "It is my great pleasure to introduce myself, the Almighty Zim, to such beautiful women. If Zim could, may he have your names?"

From the group stepped forth a short, beautiful female Irken with dark green eyes and antenna that curled straight down her head. She wore a pink sleeveless strapless tank top and a black mini-skirt along with a pair of pink heel-toed boots. This girl smiled really big at Zim as she introduced herself. "I'm Aria! I'm about as old as you are. In fact, I grew up nextdoor to you and have been watching you since Impending Doom I. I'm a really big fan of yours and hope you'll give me a chance."

"Hey Punk, I'm Mizzy. Don't annoy me or I'll have no choice but to crush you." The next girl pushed past Aria rudely. This girl wore an orange sweatshirt and baggy black jeans which she stuck her hands in the pockets of. Her light red eyes were shining with mirth.

Zim nodded meekly, obviously scared by her threat. "Zim understands…please just do not hurt Zim."

"Eh, just don't give me a reason to and we'll be fine." Mizzy shrugged nonchalantly.

"Sorry about her," The next of the girls apologized for Mizzy. She was of average height with pure white eyes and long antenna that curl down to the sides of her head. She wore a tight blue sleeveless shirt and tight blue jeans along with a pair of green sandals. "Mizzy just kind of acts that way around others. But she's really nice underneath that angry exterior. My name is Ani, by the way."

Zim nodded in acknowledgement before turning to the next member of the group, who appeared to be awaiting her turn with excitement. "Zim sees, and who is the easily excited one?"

"I'm Dixi!" Dixi, an Irken who was only a little taller than Ani with cyan eyes and antenna styled similarly to Tak's wearing a golden colored invader uniform, grinned at the small Irken male. "I come from one of the planets conquered by Irk. I'm actually only half Irken, I don't know much about the other side of my family though. It's cool to meet you, your one of the craziest dudes I've ever seen and I like that."

Zim blinked, not sure whether or not he should take that as a compliment. In the end, he decided to take it in stride and smirk. "Zim thanks you Dixi, he takes pride in his insanity. After all, it makes Zim smarter than the rest of the empire because it makes him unpredictable." The short Irken male failed to notice Red and Purple roll their eyes at that comment.

Next came Tenn, a fellow Invader who was assigned to the Meekrob home planet. She had light red eyes with green lashes that come up into spikes above her eyes, antenna that end in a half curl. She wore a red version of the standard female Invader uniform which was a simple dress and combat boots.

After Tenn was introduced, Purple noticed something off and turned to his fellow Tallest. "Hey Red, where's that special mystery contestant you wouldn't tell me anything about?"

"First Purple," Red grew very nervous at the mention of this apparent mystery competitor. "I need you to promise me that you will not try to kill me when I tell you."

"Why would I kill you over this?" Purple arched a brow in confusion.

"I refuse to say anything until you promise."

Purple stared at his fellow Tallest for a moment before shrugging. "Okay, I guess I can promise you that. I still don't get what the big deal is though."

"Would our final contestant please exit the Massive and teleport to our location." Red pulled out a communicator and spoke to someone in the giant ship above Zim's base.

A brief flash of light enveloped the room, it died down to reveal something Purple was not expecting. In the center of the room stood a tall girl with bright purple eyes and two long antenna that looped behind her head to form a 'ponytail'. She wore a long flowing dark purple dress and a pair of matching steel-toed heels. The most distinguishing thing was her uncanny resemblance to Purple.

"Midnight?" Purple asked in horror before turning to Red with fury evident on his face. "What on Irk is my daughter doing here Red?! Are you insane?!" He balled his fists and looked ready to fight.

"Dad, ugh. Leave him be. I just wanted to meet this little cutie." Midnight rolled her eyes as she tightly hugged an extremely shocked Zim, getting over the fact that the daughter of a Tallest was pining after him, close to her chest.

"But-but-. He's-." Purple sputtered, unable to get his thoughts out due to his rage and shock.

"Smarter than half the invasion fleet and better with disguises than 85 percent of all Irkens including you?" Midnight smirked at the angered look on her father's face. "I know."

"WAIT! WHAT?!" Red was shocked at hearing that Zim was better than most of the fleet at anything, let alone intelligence or disguising himself.

"Go ahead and check during his evaluations. His intelligence ranked within the top ten of his group from training. And as for disguise...Well just look at the records. Most invaders get caught within a year and if they're lucky they get relocated elsewhere, but Zim has been in the same town for three years. I don't believe that's a coincidence."

"I can't believe it." Red said with his jaw hanging wide open.

"She may be right about all that stuff," Purple conceded with a deep frown. "But I don't care! She's my kid and I refuse to let her be mated to that defect! He ruined Impending Doom I, need I remind anyone? He is too dangerous to be anywhere near my precious child."

"Actually Dad, if you looked into it further his ruining of Impending Doom I was most likely due to machine error in the mech that affected his PAK. Considering that Zim's score in mech piloting was the highest the Irken Empire has ever seen." The Tallest's daughter stated matter-of-factly.

Purple glared at his daughter in irritation. "So what if his skills were good? That doesn't excuse that he blew up all of our troops and nearly destroyed all of Irk! If anything, that makes it worse!"

"Didn't I already say that it was more likely than not an error in his mech which caused it to malfunction? If there was an error in the Massive, would it be your fault if it crashed into Irk?" Purple's daughter replied with a wide smirk as she knew she had backed the Tallest into a corner.

"Grr." Purple growled lowly in defeat. "Fine, you win that argument. But it doesn't matter, because as your father I am forbidding you from doing this!" He smirked victoriously, thinking he had won simply by playing the parental control card.

Red, however, had an idea at that moment. "How about this Purple, you let her compete in this and if she manages to win then you have to step aside and let things proceed. But if she loses then you can take her back to Irk and make sure she is as far from Zim as you desire. Deal?"

Purple opened his mouth as if he was about to say something but then closed it again and thought it over a bit. "Hmm, fine. I guess that will work, I mean I don't really see her winning anyways."

"Oh really?!" Midnight glared furiously at her father. "Okay then Dad if your so sure I'll lose, then when I win the competition you have to give up donuts for an entire year."

"What?!" Purple's eyes widened in horror. "A year?! Isn't that a bit harsh?!"

"An Irken year." Midnight added with a note of finality.

Purple looked as if he was going to cry. He loved donuts so much, he couldn't imagine a world without them. But he had to prove he was right and be willing to do so. "F-fine, but when **I** win this little bet, then you have to do whatever I say without question. Including marry a suitor and take over if I want you to."

"Deal."

With that all said, Red turned to the floating spy camera and spoke to the audience watching at home. "There you have it folks! All the contestants have been introduced and right out the gates a major stipulation has been put into play! What will happen next when Zim chooses who to have his first date with? Stay tuned on...The Invader!"

"The Invader?" Purple arched a nonexistent brow. "Is that really the best you cou-OW!" Purple gripped his head in pain after feeling a harsh impact to the back of his skull.

"You were saying? Red asked while smirking.

"Date?" Zim interrupted the duo's argument, blinking in confusion. He was completely new to all this and had no idea that was part of the deal. "Pardon Zim, My Tallests, but why must Zim have one of these…dates?"

"Well Zim, you'll be dating each of these women at least once to see which you would rather have as a mate. Whoever you like best will be selected by you and will win the grand prize. Now then, who will you be courting first?"

"Well, Zim guesses that since we've known each other longest then Tak should be first to go on a date with Zim."

"Yes! I called it! Now pay up Purple." Red exclaimed while grinning in victory. He held a hand out to Purple who grumbled in irritation. He grudgingly gave his fellow Tallest a large, round, donut coated in a pink frosting with a generous amount of multicolored sprinkles all over it.

Red wasn't the only one who was excited to hear Zim's answer. Tak, in a rare showing of emotion, was ecstatic as she threw her arms around the short alien and held him tight. "YES! Thank you Zim! I promise you won't regret picking me first!" With that, she let go and ran off to go get ready.

 _ **Meanwhile at the Membrane Household:**_

The big headed boy, whose name was Dib, jolted awake in a cold sweat with terror in his eyes. "Holy Chaos, I had the worst nightmare that Zim's race had come to Earth and-." The crazy paranormal fanatic cut himself off as he once again saw the gigantic alien ship which was barely noticeable in the cloudy blue sky. ' _So Zim finally did it, huh? His disgusting alien pals are here to destroy us all and bring doom to Earth!_ '

He rose to his feet and turned to the door, prepared to march straight to Zim's base and stop anything before it could begin, when a cough was heard. It was his purple haired goth sister, Gaz.

"Stop thinking so loud. You interrupted my meditation of doom." She said in a monotone voice that somehow still managed to sound annoyed.

"Gaz, you heard my thoughts?...That's kinda creepy." Dib shuddered at the thought of his family reading his mind.

Gaz deadpanned. "Dib… the entire population of Mars heard your thoughts."

"Martians too?...Noooooooo!" Dib shouted dramatically for a little while then finally stopped when he ran out of breath. ' _I have to stop whatever Zim and his evil race is plotting...then I'll take down those privacy hating Martians. Look out alien scum! Paranormal Investigator Dib is on the case!'_

"I thought I told you to stop thinking so loudly you big-headed moron."

"...Right after I get my sister to stop reading my mind." Dib shivered once more at the thought of his darkest secrets being at anyone's, let alone his demonic sister's, disposal.

 _ **Back with Zim:**_

Zim and Tak were now sitting at a booth in a nice looking restaurant somewhere in the dark void of space and both were dressed for the occasion. Zim had been forcibly stuffed into a nice red button-up dress shirt and black dress pants by Red and Purple.

Tak, meanwhile, was wearing a modest red dress that went down to her knees. She had swapped her usual boots for heels and was now wearing a small bit of Irken make-up thinking it would help win Zim over better. Of course, there was a tiny spy camera to record everything for the show.

Zim and Tak found themselves in an awkward silence that neither could really break at the moment. Zim scratched the back of his head and thought of starting some semblance of conversation, but there was a problem. ' _Zim is so confused...how does one act on a date? Perhaps I should ask, but that seems like a bad idea...Oh Irk, what do I do?'_

 _ **To Be Continued…**_


	3. Chapter 3

V.C.: V.C. welcomes you all to the third chapter! Revel in the mayhem and destruction, revel in the DOOM! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Phoenix:(Sarcastically) Yes, I'm so excited I might die and come back.

K.N.: How are you gonna do that? Are you a zombie? Because if you are then get back in my game so I can kill you and then kill you again.

Frostwing: You know, between him acting like a male Gaz and V.C. acting like Zim I might kill you Phoenix.

Phoenix: How is it my fault?! I don't pay for their Hulu.

Frostwing:(Confused) Then who does?

K.N.:(Angered) SHUT UP! I pay for it and because of your idiocy I just died! Now I have to KILL YOU!

V.C.:(With a sinister grin) Then let us begin with the destruction of these bugs! Readers march onward and view the chapter while we exterminate the insects. (Pulls out two Irken blasters and gives one to K.N.)

Phoenix/Frostwing: RUN FOR IT!

Disclaimer: We do not own Invader Zim. We do own the OCs created for this story. Enjoy!

Chapter 3: First Date Jitters

Tak almost immediately noticed something was wrong with Zim. He was unusually quiet, he seemed to be nervous and looked like he had no idea what he was doing here or what he should be doing at that moment.

"Zim, are you alright?" Tak asked with concern evident in her voice.

"Eh?" Zim blinked in confusion, snapping out of his anxiety-filled thoughts and glancing at the purple eyed Irken sitting across from him. "What do you mean Tak-beast? Zim is perfectly normal. He simply was thinking of…things." He let out a nervous laugh that made Tak even less convinced than she already was.

"Oh really? Then what exactly are you thinking about, hm?" She gave him a suspicious look that Zim knew all too well.

The red eyed Irken found himself cornered. He couldn't tell her what he had been thinking about. 'But this is Tak, she will see through any ingenious lie that Zim comes up with. I have no choice, so I supposes it would be best to just come out and say it.' "Okay, Zim is troubled by this date because it is nothing like anything he has ever encountered."

Tak couldn't help but let out a burst of laughter at the defective invader's words. This clearly upset the small Irken, who asked in a panic. "What? Why do you laugh at Zim?! Tell me now!" The invader demanded, feeling extremely nervous and insecure at that moment.

"I-I'm s-sorry." Tak got out in-between her fits of laughter. She finally calmed herself down and took a deep breath to compose herself. "It's just so weird for you, the most arrogant and smug person I have ever met, to admit when you're scared. It's almost too funny because it's nothing that you really need to be worried about anyways. You should just relax and enjoy yourself."

"Easy for you to say, Tak." Zim frowned at the female Irken's words. "You at least have an understanding of your situation. You're the one who has feelings for Zim."

Tak frowned in annoyance at those words. "Honestly Zim? If anything, that should make it worse for me. I should be nervous, wondering if you like me back or if you're just doing this to hurry up and get this whole competition over with. But I'm not worried, because I know you and I also know that if you didn't at least feel indifferent to me then I would have been kicked out of your base before the Tallests could say anything."

Meanwhile:

"What?!" Red glared at the screen before him with venom burning in his crimson eyes. "Why that little insect! Zim would have no way of fighting our word! Like it or not, he would listen!"

"Actually," Aria piped up while glaring at both Red and Purple. "He probably would only listen to you because you've toyed with him like a little puppet for pretty much his entire life. If he knew his mission was a sham and stopped being so loyal to you, I doubt the empire would last more than a few weeks before he'd have it burnt to the ground."

"Shut up!" Red and Purple shouted in perfect unison while sending a deathly stare in her direction.

While Red, Purple, and Aria continued to bicker inside of Zim's base, Dib revealed himself from the bushes outside. He quickly glanced around the area to make sure that no one was watching him before slithering his way over to a tree near the alien's doorstep.

Dib scurried up the tree with rare feats of strength and agility then stopped on a high tree branch where he pulled out a weird looking backpack of sorts. The pack was red and white with yellow swirls making what appeared to be 'eyes'. The paranormal hunter slipped the pack onto his back and sighed. "I'm so glad my cousin let me borrow his helipack invention...let's see how well I can navigate it."

He pushed a button and two large fans of sorts slid out from the 'mouth' of the helipack and Dib found himself floating in midair. The big-headed boy took a second to adjust to the machine's controls before darting forward, fully intent on storming Zim's base by entering the top-story window.

However, Dib was in for a shock as two laser blasters revealed themselves and fired when he got close enough to Zim's base. The human narrowly dodged the attack, unknowingly damaging the helipack in the process, and sighed in relief. "Phew, that was…" He trailed off as he noticed the ground behind Zim's base getting closer and closer while the sound of fans slowing became more obvious.

"Close?" Dib gulped as he saw a large pit closed off by a metal gate which was creaking open would be his landing point. The helipack chose that moment to give out completely and send Dib falling down the ditch, which happened to be filled with sharp rocks and other large stones.

"Ow. Ow. Ow." Dib grunted and groaned in pain as he fell, hitting several of the rocks in his path on his way down. When the big-headed boy finally made impact with the ground, he landed face first in the dirt. "Ugh...can this get any worse?"

As if on cue with his question, a large roar echoed around the ditch. "GRAAAWW!"

"Did I even have to ask?" Dib groaned without looking up from his position on the ground. He slowly looked up and to his horror found many large ravenous-looking weasels which had chunks of flesh missing and some areas where one could see bones. "AAHHHH! IT'S THE ZOMBIE WEASELS! CURSE YOU ZZIIIMMMMM!"

Back inside the base, the argument between Red, Purple, and Aria was interrupted by Dib's shouting and the screams of pain and agony which followed. They all looked at each other for a minute, debating if they should investigate what was going on before shrugging their shoulders and deciding to just turn back to the television and watch the rest of Zim and Tak's date.

Back with Zim and Tak:

Tak was staring intensely at the small Irken, as if trying to crack some sort of code. Zim felt even more nervous than he already had and decided to find out why she was staring. "What? Do you see something wrong with Zim?"

"No," Tak shrugged. "All I see is an overly nervous Irken who is acting like he is on his first ever date."

"What would you say if Zim told you this was his first ever date?" Tak raised her nonexistent eyebrows at that comment, clearly wanting Zim to explain in more detail. Luckily for her, he did. "Well, when Zim was younger, he didn't have much interest in anything but being an Invader. As you know, non-invaders can have mates but it's looked down upon. Zim did not care about the females of his or any kind. So, he never learned how to court a female or really interact with one. That is, until you came along."

"I guess that makes sense." Tak's cheeks burned at Zim unintentionally suggesting she was the first female he found any interest in. She hummed in thought while staring down the Irken. "I guess I can see where you're coming from. It's obvious that you've spent most of your life working toward being an Invader. In that sense, you and I aren't all that different."

"Eh? What do you mean by that?"

"Well, we've both struggled our entire lives to achieve our dreams." Tak explained while taking a sip from her drink. "We have things about us which most people on Irk see undesirable in the invading field. Your short and I'm, well, a girl."

"Zim supposes you have a point," The short Irken found himself relaxing into the conversation. He couldn't help but find it easier once he realized that while they may be in a more formal environment, they were still the same. Tak was still Tak, and that eased a lot of his worries. "Zim finds himself calmer now, thank you. If I may ask, how is it that you seem so knowledgeable about such things?"

"Like I said," Tak grinned. "I'm a girl. I just know these types of things. It helps when you have a lot of time to yourself in an isolated escape pod drifting along in the endless void of space."

"Will you ever stop reminding Zim that he sent you off into space in order to protect his mission?" Zim rolled his eyes in annoyance at the mention of that once again.

"I may have forgiven you for that Zim, but I will never stop reminding you of it." Tak smiled as Zim shook his head in exasperation.

"Other than that, Zim would like to say that he is having a better time than he had expected." Zim showed a very rare expression, something few had ever seen on his face, a true content smile. "So, thank you for not torturing Zim too much with this silly little date that the Tallests forced on us so suddenly."

Tak smiled in response to this while blushing slightly. "Of course, I'm really glad you chose me to have your first date with. To be honest, I thought that we would've been trying to kill each other by now, but things have been surprisingly peaceful."

"To quote a filthy, vile, big-headed human, don't jinx it." Zim stated while chuckling to himself.

Tak let out a small laugh herself at that comment. "Oh fine, I'll refrain from saying anything until the night is over." A thought struck her and she became apprehensive for a minute before asking something which seemed to be troubling her. "So, how does it feel to know that the daughter of a Tallest is interested in you?"

"It is probably just a simple case of teenage rebellion," Zim shrugged at that thought. "After all, in what universe would a future Tallest find any real interest in such a short, crazy Irken like myself?"

Back on Earth:

"Yes! He admits it! Victory for Tallest Purple!" Purple leapt out of his seat, spun around twice, and then pumped both of his fists in the air as a pose of victory for a few seconds before going back into his original place next to Red.

"You do realize that he is absolutely wrong about that, correct?" Midnight asked her father with a narrow gaze.

"No!" Purple snapped at her while crossing his arms over his chest. "He's right! You just don't realize it yet!"

"Is that really the best excuse you could think of?" Mizzy asked while lazily lounging on the nearby recliner, a giant soda bottle in her hands.

"Who asked you anyways?!"

"Eh," Mizzy shrugged while taking a swig from her gigantic soda. "I kinda just invited myself into the conversation. Got a problem with that?"

"Yes, actually, I do." Purple snapped with an attitude.

"Well too bad."

"You are aware that I am a Tallest. Right?" Purple's eyes narrowed.

"Good for you, now sit down and shut up." Mizzy's tone was even and showed no emotion whatsoever.

Purple turned to Red, hopeful for help in this argument. Unfortunately for him, Purple found that Red was on the ground rolling with laughter. Between his laughter, Red somehow managed to get out. "I like her, she isn't even scared of us."

"Ah shut up both of you." Mizzy groaned in annoyance with the pair. "I'm trying to watch this. Gotta get a view on the competition so I can crush them."

"It's official, she's my new favorite." Red smirked as he saw Purple's left eye start twitching.

Meanwhile with Dib:

From the edge of the undead weasel infested pit came a bloodied human hand dragging with it a beaten, battered, and bruised Dib. He smiled at seeing that there were no more zombie weasels around "YES! I finally managed to escape! Now I can stop Zim and his-." His words were cut off as another laser came from out of nowhere and shot him in the leg causing him to fall backwards into the pit once more. "NOOOOOO!" Dib shrieked as he fell straight into the paws of a particularly big weasel.

"Uh...hi?" The paranormalist asked, hoping and praying for his life. Unfortunately, the weasel did not speak English and responded by continuing to maul him. "AHH! NOT THE EYES! PLEASE LEAVE MY BRAIN ALONE! MY SPINE...IS NOT...A TOOTHPICK!"

To Be Continued...


	4. Chapter 4

**V.C.: Welcome everyone to the fourth chapter.**

 **Phoenix: Why do Frostwing and I keep agreeing to meet for Invader Zim chapters?**

 **K.N.: I really don't know, but I don't care either.**

 **Frostwing: Shut up, we need to say some important things.**

 **V.C.: Indeed. First off, we want to clarify that there are no plans for any lemons to occur in this story. The story is planned to stay at a T rating, and even if it does raise to M there are no lemons planned.**

 **Phoenix: Also, some people have been asking about Gaz being added. We aren't opposed to the idea, but for now we have no plans for that. Give us your thoughts on Gaz being more included in the story or not.**

 **K.N.: Is that all?**

 **Frostwing: Yeah. Anyone who has any input on Gaz or any other ideas for this story should leave us a review. Let us know what you all think.**

 **V.C.: With that said, let us move on to the brilliant doom of this story! Mwahahah!**

 **Disclaimer: We do not own Invader Zim. We do own the OCs created for this story. Enjoy!**

 _ **Chapter 4: Captive Romance**_

The sun lazily rose over the horizon on another dull day on the planet of Earth. A small purple spacecraft slowly descended to the planet's surface, narrowly avoiding the Massive on the way down. It parked in the Irken base's docking bay.

The hatch opened to reveal Zim and Tak walking side by side with a small smirk and a happy smile across their faces respectively. The duo had enjoyed their meal without any real problems, and after that they went to witness a live demonstration of foreign Revonnahgander's defending livestock from extremely large, stupid-looking rat creatures.

All in all, it had been a nice night for them both. There had been jokes and quips against each other at every possible chance. Tak's personal favorite memory of the night was when Zim got roped into having to help the foreigners after saying that things looked too easy for them. One could say things had not gone well for the small green-skinned invader, though it had been hilarious for Tak to watch him fail at fighting the rat creatures.

At that moment, the duo walked into the main area of the base and found the others of their species from the competition in hibernation mode. The only noticeable exceptions were Tenn, who was most likely hiding somewhere a bit more private, and Midnight who they had no clue as to the whereabouts of.

Red and Purple were in separate recliners that they had ordered to be sent down from the Massive. Aria was by herself wrapped under an overly large blanket and holding a plushie of someone who Zim thought looked a lot like himself close to her face. Mizzy was passed out on the floor with snacks of various types littered about.

Dixi was cuddled up to her S.I.R. unit, who was a small robot that looked remarkably like Tak's, Mimi, with the main differences being Dixi's had a mouth and was painted to be a bright neon pink color. Ani was sitting on the couch with her head tilted back, and unknowingly had Gir and Mimi on her lap. The duo of S.I.R.s were cuddling, which Tak smiled at then brought to Zim's attention.

"Look at them," She nudged Zim and motioned to their S.I.R.s. Zim arched a brow then chuckled at the sight.

"I see. It would appear that Gir has found someone to keep him and his insane tendencies occupied while I am doing this silly contest."

"It's not that silly when you consider some of the other things Dad has done over the years." The voice of Midnight startled both Irkens. They turned their attention to the door and found her standing there with her arms crossed.

"Oh, hello Midnight. Pardon Zim, he did not realize that anyone would be awake at this Earth hour." Zim rubbed the back of his head, not noticing the glaring contest Tak and Midnight were engaged in.

"It's okay cutie," The heiress of the Irken Empire gave Zim a sweet smile. "There's no need to worry."

"What were you talking about a second ago?" Tak asked, wanting to end this conversation as soon as possible so she could continue enjoying the morning with Zim.

Midnight scoffed at that comment. "My dad's an idiot. He's done a lot of stupid stuff throughout the years. But I really don't like what he did yesterday night."

"What?" Zim arched a curious brow. "Did he make some sort of comment about you 'liking' Zim?"

"Kind of," Midnight paused before glancing at Tak and debating if she should continue. After a second of thought, she decided to tread carefully with her wording to avoid giving too much away. "Dad chose your next date, and it isn't me."

"Eh?" Zim blinked in surprise and confusion. "Is that so? But Zim thought it was his choice who he dated and when."

"You know my dad," The Tallest's daughter sighed. "He likes to change his mind when it's convenient for him."

"Then who will Zim be courting next?" The short Irken asked in slight curiosity.

Before Midnight could say another word, a small object slammed into the center of Zim's PAK. The unexpected blow caused Zim to fall to his knees and cry out in agony. Tak, in response, tried to help the injured Irken by kneeling beside him.

"Zim, are you okay?"

"Zim will live," The short Irken grunted. "But who-."

"Grab the girl." An all too familiar voice said. Looking up, Zim saw that it was Purple who had given the order. A small army of S.I.R.s who looked identical to Gir, except they had red eyes instead of cyan, came charging forward and snatched Tak.

"Tak!" Zim struggled to his feet and glared at Purple. "What is the meaning of this?! Why are you doing this to Zim?!"

"You'll see," Purple then reached out a hand and tapped Zim's PAK, forcing the short Irken into hibernation mode. "For now, take a nice long nap."

"No..." Zim grunted, trying to fight the natural signals that his PAK was firing off, but finding the power of the device too strong. Darkness welcomed him as he saw Tak be carried away and felt someone lift his unmoving body.

 _ **Later:**_

Zim awoke hours later in his basement laboratory. He blinked a few times to try and adjust his eyes to the environment as he rubbed his head.

"Ugh, what happened?" Ruby red eyes widened as the memories of that morning came back to the small Irken. "Tak?! Midnight?! Anyone?!"

"Nope, it's just you and me shrimp."

Zim turned a few shades of green lighter at that voice. He slowly looked up from his place on the floor and saw Mizzy grinning deviously at him. "Hey,"

"You!" Zim leapt to his feet and pointed his fingers at her. "What have you done to Zim?! Where is Tak?!"

"You care an awful lot for that girl. How pathetic." Mizzy scoffed. "If you need to know, she's right here in this lab, with us."

"You lie!"

However, Mizzy was not lying and she intended to prove it. A small cage lowered down from the ceiling and revealed an unconscious Tak. Zim gawked at his fellow Irken who was unconscious before him. The short Irken turned his gaze to Mizzy and glared daggers at the female.

"Why did you do this? What has Tak done to you?"

"Eh," Mizzy shrugged uncaringly. "Nothing really, but that doesn't matter. She's competition, and that's reason enough for me to go along with this idea."

"Go along with..." Zim blinked as realization hit. "You didn't come up with this wicked plot?"

"Nope," Mizzy shook her head while shoving her hands into her pockets. "The Tallests came up with this little thing. You see, the Tallests got kinda mad while we were watching your date. They didn't like some of the things the drone said. At the same time, Red took a bit of a shine to me. So, we ended up coming up with this idea to kidnap Tak and force me to be your next date. Besides, those two idiots think it'll be good for ratings along with the whole Purple attacking you thing. At least, I think they said some crap like that."

Zim paused. "That is quite clever on all fronts, Zim will give you that."

"Thanks." Mizzy smirked. "Now here's the plan, you're gonna do what I want or else the girl gets it."

"Naturally," Zim rolled his eyes at that predictable statement. He arched a nonexistent brow at the vagueness of her threat. "What exactly is 'it'?"

"You don't wanna know what 'it' is," Mizzy replied vaguely. Something about the way that she said that unnerved Zim into agreeing with her. Her light red eyes shone devilishly as she saw the invader shiver. "Now, about our date..."

"What?" Zim frowned. "Zim would imagine that you intend to drag him around some horrid place and force him to do whatever you say."

"Hm, your smarter than they say." Mizzy rolled her eyes sarcastically at him.

"You expected less from the Almighty Zim?"

"Whatever," Mizzy rolled her eyes and ignored the egotistical remark. "Since you get the gist of what this will be like, I'll cut to the chase. There's this open-challenge robot fighting tournament that I really want to go see. It has open seating too, meaning we don't have to buy tickets or worry about space. You're going to take me there and buy me a bunch of snacks while I watch some insane robot action."

"That's it?" Zim blinked. "That's all I have to do?"

"Well...not exactly." Mizzy smirked, gaining a bit of a new edge to her. "We'll both be acting like we actually care about each other. Besides the Tallests ordering it, I did enter this contest for a reason. I'm interested in the maniac who almost destroyed Irk with nothing but a simple S.I.R. mech-bot, and you're that same madman I wanna get to know."

"Is that your way of telling Zim that you care for him?"

"Sorta," Mizzy shrugged loosely. "I mean, I don't really do the sappy romantic stuff, so I'm not going to say that I care. But, if it's any consolation, I guess you could look at my words however you like."

With that, Mizzy grabbed Zim by the arm and began dragging him to his Voot cruiser. The small Irken glanced back at the unconscious Tak and frowned. He didn't want to leave her behind, but he supposed he had no choice if he wanted to keep this going. ' _I'll be back for you Tak, I promise.'_

 _ **At the Tournament:**_

Mizzy was having a blast as a giant robotic replica of a Vortian was getting destroyed by the champion. The champion was a 40 foot tall, hulking dark-grey humanoid robot with sapphire-colored protective armor surrounding it's chest, arms, and legs. The machine was piloted from the inside by it's creator; one of the former elite generals of the Meekrob army.

Zim found himself slightly interested in the machines themselves, but couldn't get a good enough look because of Mizzy's constant demands for snacks and drinks. He scoffed as he heard Mizzy whooping and cheering for the champion. "Hmph, what is so exciting about such combat? It doesn't result in anything. While I am all for chaotic destruction, I prefer the kind that results in people getting severely hurt, if not dying."

"You don't know anything!" Mizzy snapped. "It's fun to just sit back and watch people tear each other's robots to scrap metal. They may not be killing each other, but they are causing mass destruction with robots."

"Ha!" Zim laughed at that, earning him a scary glare from the red-eyed female. With a bit more caution, Zim tried to continue the conversation. "This is what you call mass destruction? Zim could cause this with the snap of his fingers." Clearly the small Irken hadn't learned from the night prior. Otherwise, he would have been expecting what came next.

"Then prove it." Mizzy stated bluntly.

"Eh?" Zim blinked in confusion. "How do you expect me to-."

"Go build a mech and try to beat him." Mizzy replied before Zim could even finish his question. Before he could refuse, Mizzy added. "That's an order."

Zim growled lowly at those words. ' _No one orders around Zim like that…Hmph! You want destruction evil female? Then Zim will gladly provide it!'_ With that thought, the defective Irken stormed off toward the repair/creation bay.

 _ **Meanwhile on Earth:**_

Aria was awake and alarmed. She had not seen Zim at all that day, and she was beginning to really worry about him. Strangely enough, neither of the Tallests were in the front room watching television. In fact, the observation camera for The Invader had been moved somewhere else. This meant that Aria couldn't be certain that Zim was safe, and it was driving her insane.

"Excuse me, miss?" A squeaky voice spoke up from behind her as she rose from underneath her current searching place underneath the kitchen table. Turning around in the blink of an eye, Aria turned to see Gir staring up at her in curiosity. "What'cha doin'?"

"I'm looking for Zim." Aria managed to strangle out in distress. "He never came home last night, and I'm worried about him."

Gir blinked twice before his cyan eyes widened. "Oh no! Mastah nevah is gone dis long. He's gotta be in trouble!"

"More trouble than either of you could think of." A voice cut into their conversation. Both turned to see Midnight standing there with her arms crossed over her chest.

"You!" Aria growled angrily. "What have you done to sweet little Zimmy?!"

"...I'm not going to dignify that creepy nickname with a response." Midnight answered after a short pause. "But if you must know, Zim is out on another date. The Tallests forced him to leave as soon as he got here this morning."

"I thought dis mornin' was too quiet." Gir let out a small giggle at that comment, not noticing the two pairs of eyes glaring at him. "So, where's dat picture box dat lets us see Mastah on his dates?"

"It was moved down to his lab." Midnight answered. "The Tallests didn't want anyone else from the competition to watch this one, not even me. They locked up the lab and have that Tak girl in a jail cell hanging over some broken down machines."

"Why'd they do that to Miss Purple Lady?"

"Because they think she's the best bet of winning right now, they want her to watch as the others on their dates. I think dad said it was something about seeing the others surpass her or something."

"Oh," Gir let out a sound of understanding. "I gets it."

"How dare they?!" Aria snapped, breaking the conversation between S.I.R. unit and the future Tallest. Aria felt outraged. "Those idiots attacked them as soon as they got home and shipped Zim off? If I could, I'd beat the crap outta them!"

"Who says you can't?" Midnight asked her with a smirk. "As the future Tallest, I see nothing wrong with it." ' _We may be enemies, but I'd happily help anyone who wants to smack around those two idiots.'_

Aria paused for a minute before grinning evilly. "Where's Zim's lab?"

"Down da weird tube thingy humans use," Gir answered.

"Then let's go pay our Tallests a visit."

 _ **Back with Zim and Mizzy:**_

The Meekrob general let out a feral laugh as his most recent victim was carted off to the medical bay. "You fools call that a challenge?! My army's nurses could have done better! Can no one offer a real fight?"

"I can."

The audience went silent at the sound of that voice. Many Irkens in the crowd turned several shades lighter while a variety of other species were silently awaiting their doom. The general, who refused to be called anything other than General due to Meekrob traditions, arched an inquisitive brow. "Oh? Show yourself then."

From the other side of the arena came a creepy looking robot. It was around 30 feet tall and had the head of an Earth cat. With the body of a S.I.R, the claws of an Irken, and the spider legs that one would see Irken's use from their PAKs, it looked quite deadly. Standing atop this creepy robot was Zim. General looked over his enemy and let out a small chuckle.

"Well, it would appear we have a bit of a celebrity in the house tonight," General mocked the small Irken. "I thought you were too busy with your girlfriends and that dirtball called Earth to do anything of interest."

"You underestimate me." The Irken male's eyes narrowed. "That will be your downfall. Prepare for your doom, and consider it an honor that I am the one to deliver it to you."

"I could say the same to you, defect." General spat. "Come, let us begin."

Zim's eyes narrowed even further before he smirked. "Well then oh esteemed General. Allow me to teach you that defective though I may be, I am still far superior to you and your pitiful species."

The Meekrob snarled and pointed at Zim before shouting "You'll never be superior to me! I am Meekrob, I am General, and I AM YOUR DEATH!"

The crowd was sent roaring with these words as they waited for one robot to begin the destruction of the other.

"Then allow us to begin." Zim pushed a button on the head of the robot which opened a hatch for him to enter. Zim climbed in and connected himself to the Mech, prepared to show the universe his prowess with such a machine.

Zim's robot lifted it's front legs and reared back, ready to charge forward. The General's robot pointed it's finger at Zim's and pulled out an electro-whip with it's other hand. Zim stared with a smirk and a hole in the palm of his robot's hand opened causing a torrent of water to surge from it heading straight towards the other robot. "You should know better, after all water conducts electricity!" Zim shouted.

The General raged. His robot launched a barrage of missiles at Zim's when the Irken pressed a button and a shield formed deflecting the damage. The General screamed in anger and asked Zim, "How are you countering everything I throw at you?!"

"Easy, Zim has had time to watch bits and pieces of your battles. With that, I have learned your patterns. On the other hand, you have not had this chance." Zim took that opportunity to press another button causing a blade of energy to form in the hand of his Mech. The blade swung forward only to meet another blade of energy.

"Zim sees you do have some tricks up your sleeves. Good."

"You didn't really think I'd waste my better attacks on some weaklings, did you?" General arched a brow. "I've been saving a few cards until I needed to play them. Observe." He proceeded to swing his energy sword forward and engage Zim in a battle of swordsmanship.

This continued for several minutes, with neither side willing to give in. Finally, Zim found an opening and swiped at the legs of General's mech. The attack sent General toppling over, leaving him helpless.

Zim's mech slowly approached, prepared to finish off his adversary. "Do you surrender?"

"Not a chance!" General glared at the Irken before pushing a button that revealed blasters hidden inside the fingertips of his mech. The Meekrob general fired a multitude of energy attacks, but was unfortunate as Zim activated a deflector shield that bounced the attacks back. Now weaker than ever, Zim got even closer.

"I tried to be nice and give you an out," The short Irken smirked deviously. "Now we finish things the fun way." Two of the spider legs rose, and were swiftly used to tear into the mech's chest. General could only watch as Zim tore his mech to shreds, leaving the head in tact so as to not harm General himself.

"Too afraid to hit me, defect?"

"No, Zim just would rather watch you wallow in anguish as your precious mech is torn apart before your eyes."

Once the rest of the machine was destroyed, Zim then picked up the head and began spinning his arms. General's screams and protests against this could be heard the entire time. After a few seconds, the small Irkne's mech let go and sent the Meekrob General hurtling into space while shrieking his head off, winning Zim the match.

"ZIM! ZIM! ZIM!" The crowd roared.

The small Irken exited his mech and bowed with a wide grin. He turned and pointed directly at Mizzy. "Zim has proven his point, evil female! He is the master of mayhem and destruction!"

Mizzy wore a grin as she came and met the Irken down in the fighting pit. She surprised him with a punch to the arm. "Ya did good, I'm impressed."

Zim scoffed. "I could have done worse."

"Sure you could have," Mizzy rolled her eyes. "C'mon, let's blow this place. I'd stay, but you kind of just took out the champion. I guess we can go back to Earth."

With that, they left the arena for Zim's Voot Cruiser. Once inside, Zim began preparations for the trip back to Earth. He was about to take off when he heard a fake cough and turned his head.

"Ya'know," Mizzy spoke up from her seat in the Voot Cruiser. "I had fun. Thanks for not boring the hell outta me."

"You are welcome, Mizzy. Zim must admit that he also enjoyed himself." Zim thought about the fight with General and how fun it had been. "Zim only hopes he can get a copy of the tape so he may remember yet another of his sweet victories."

"Don't push it pipsqueak."

Zim could only sigh. "Okay." With that said, ZIm activated his Voot and began the long journey back to the small dirtball that held everything important to the small Irken.

 _ **Meanwhile; Back on Earth:**_

Tenn was enjoying herself in the backyard of Zim's base. She looked at the blue sky of Earth, finding it much different of the red sky of Irk. Suddenly, she heard a loud, ominous sound come from nearby.

"What was that?" Her eyes traveled to a large pit in the yard covered with a large grate. She slowly approached, her curiosity peaked.

Suddenly, a hand shot up out from the pit and a voice said "Finally! Freedom at last!"

Tenn shrieked and stomped on the hand, causing the person attached to scream "Nooooooooooo!" as the sound of weasels chittering was heard.

"That was one of the strangest things that has ever happened to me," Tenn said. "Why is it that weird things happen whenever Zim is involved?" Tenn shrugged and went back inside.

 _ **To Be Continued...**_


	5. Chapter 5

**V.C.: Hello readers. V.C. welcomes you to the next installment of this crazy story.**

 **Phoenix:(Rolls eyes) Oh, it's crazy alright.**

 **Frostwing: Quiet Phoenix. You don't want to anger the cosplayers again.**

 **K.N.:(Holding an Irken laser) What was that?**

 **Frostwing/Phoenix: Nothing!**

 **V.C.: Good! Now readers, go forth and enjoy the next chapter of** _ **Troubles of Irken Romance**_ **.**

 **K.N.: And don't forget to review. Your opinions help make this story better for everyone. We are also still undecided about Gaz, so if anyone wants to give input on that then feel free.**

 **V.C.: Yes, yes. With all that said, DISCLAIMER!**

 **Disclaimer: We do not own Invader Zim. We do own the OCs created for this story. Enjoy!**

 _ **Chapter 5: Fighting for A-Tenn-tion**_

"Hello ladies and gentlemen," Red greeted the floating camera from his chair with a wide smile across his face. "Welcome to another exciting edition of _The Invader_! Last time, our favorite shortie found himself fighting a Meekrob general during his date with Mizzy. Now heading back for Earth, what will happen next? Also, what of that odd sighting Tenn had in the back of the base? Find out all that and more right now on... _The Invader_!"

"Why are you acting like a game show host?" Purple arched a nonexistent brow at his fellow Tallest's actions. "You haven't talked like that since Chapter 2, so why go back now?"

( **Hey! Do you know how much that fourth wall cost?! -Phoenix** )

"Shut it Purple!" Red glared at the purple eyed Irken. "This whole contest thing was my idea, so I can do as I please."

( **Oh fine, ignore one of the authors. Either way, it still is coming out of your paycheck. -Phoenix** )

"All of it was your idea?" Purple gave his fellow Tallest a glare. "Then was it your idea to enter my daughter behind my back?"

"What if it was?" Red raised a nonexistent brow while smirking. "It's not like you can do anything about it now."

Purple looked outraged by Red's words. The two of them found themselves in a glaring contest. Before anything else could happen, a coughing noise drew their attention to the cage holding Tak.

"If you both are finished," Tak spoke with an irritated tone. "Then would you kindly let me out of this stupid cage?"

"No!" Both of them snapped in unison, earning them a deadpan expression from Tak.

While all of this was happening, the locks behind the entrance to Zim's lab were easily picked open. Aria, Gir, and Midnight all snuck into the lair and looked around for their targets. Aria found them bickering with each other, and saw a large metal box on a shelf above them.

"Look," She nudged Midnight and pointed at the box. The heiress grinned deviously as she nodded in understanding.

Meanwhile, Purple huffed as he threw his hands into the air. "You know what? Fine! I don't care that you were involved! I just can't believe my only daughter would stab me in the back and run off to try and get with that runt."

"You know, he's not that bad if you'd just get over your grudge." Both Tallests blinked in surprise as Midnight spoke up, stepping out of the shadows. "And for the record, I didn't stab you in the back. I only pursued my desired mate. You were the one who insulted my effectiveness as a mate when I first got here."

"Midnight? How did you get in here?" Purple questioned his daughter.

"Oh, you know," Midnight smirked at her father. "A simple pick of the lock."

Purple groaned. "Curse that defect and his stupid base's cruddy design."

"You know, that's kind of your fault."

"My fault?!" Purple gawked at her. "How is it my fault?!"

"You're the one who gave him the lowest quality stuff you could find before sending him off to Earth."

Red snickered at the conversation between father and daughter, but his humor was short lived when the large metal box fell onto his head. He fell face first onto his stomach with swirls in his eyes and small ducks circling his head. He saw an odd silhouette and gave a dazed laugh. "Heh, heh. Tallest Spork...is that you?" With those words, he fainted.

"I guess he couldn't take dat bonk on da head. Tehehe." Gir let out a small giggle at the sight of Tallest Red's condition.

"C'mon Gir, we still have to free Tak." Aria told the malfunctioning S.I.R. as she grabbed a pair of keys from Red's pocket.

"Youse go ahead," Gir smiled as he pulled a marker out of his pocket. "I'm gonna have some fun an' doodle on his face."

Aria shook her head at the small robot's antics before turning her attention to her restrained competition. Quietly approaching the cage, she climbed the broken machines and stuck the key into the lock. Once free, Tak nimbly leapt over the obstacles and landed on her feet. Aria slowly followed her.

"Thanks for the assist," Tak nodded respectfully toward her competitor.

"No problem," Aria shrugged before turning back to Gir to see that he had finished his handiwork. Red's face was now covered with poorly drawn glasses, a mustache and goatee, and a monkey's face above his forehead. This was quite the sight, and managed to get a small chuckle out of both females.

Purple was too busy arguing with his daughter to notice any of this happening to his fellow Tallest. It wasn't until he realized that Red was being too quiet that he got suspicious. Turning around, he saw Tak and Aria smirking at him deviously with menacing glints in their eyes.

"Um...hi?" Purple gulped as he slowly backed away. He stopped only when he bumped into someone else. Turning around, he saw Midnight had the same look on her face as the other two Irken females.

"It would seem you're in a bit of a sticky situation, aren't you Father?" The Irken heiress' smirk grew as she saw her father squirm.

"M-Midnight, you wouldn't hurt your dear old dad, would you?" Purple asked hopefully.

"Hmm, maybe." The purple eyed female hummed in thought.

Purple let out a sigh of relief. However, his feelings of security were short-lived when Gir surprised him by pounding down onto his head. Purple was dazed by the attack, making him susceptible to the incoming opponents.

"But they definitely will." Midnight grinned as she cracked her knuckles.

 _ **Later:**_

Zim arrived back on Earth a few hours later, warily exiting his Voot as he prepared for Purple to ambush him. Mizzy noticed this and rolled her eyes at his antics.

"Would ya quit it, pipsqueak? The purple idiot won't come for you. That was just some dumb ratings stunt."

"You can never be too certain. After all, it is entirely possible for anything to attack." Zim replied as he peered his head into the next room and looked both ways before entering. Mizzy would have replied to that, but another voice disturbed their conversation before she could get the chance.

"Zim is right, you know." Both Zim and Mizzy looked in surprise to see Tak smirking at them both. "Caution is a key thing that any Irken should learn early on if they hope to survive."

"Tak!" Zim tried and failed to hide his obvious joy at seeing her freed and unharmed. "You're okay!"

"Of course, I'm okay," Tak's smirk softened to a warm smile as she walked over to them both and slapped him across the face as hard as she could.

"OW!" Zim's hand flew to his cheek immediately as he glared at her. "What was that for, Tak-beast?"

"For leaving me behind in a cell with those idiots," Tak replied simply. She then enveloped him in a tight embrace.

"And the hug?" Zim asked in confusion.

"Because it was sweet of you to leave for my safety. That, and because I can."

"Bleh," Mizzy gagged at how touching of a scene she was seeing. "Get a room. I'm gonna go find some snacks. See ya around, pipsqueak." With that, she walked off.

Zim didn't notice her leave, nor did he care. He stared at the purple eyed Irken before him with curiosity now showing in his ruby eyes. "How did you escape our Tallests?"

Tak paused for a minute before smirking as she thought over the unconscious bodies of her leaders lying in Zim's lab with crude drawings all over their faces. "Let's just say that I had a little help from a friend."

"Okay." Zim shrugged loosely as they entered the main level of the base. Before they could say or do anything, a quiet voice spoke up from behind.

"Um, Zim?"

The red eyed male turned to see Tenn staring at him nervously. Trying not to scare her off, Zim nodded cautiously. "Yes, Tenn?"

"I saw this weird thing outside," The female hesitantly told him. Zim's only response was to raise a nonexistent brow and wait for her to continue. "There was this big pit covered by a grate. I heard this chittering noise, and some weird hand shot out of it."

Zim's eyes widened in horror as he turned a few shades lighter. "Oh no. That was where I stored the zombie weasels!"

"Zombie weasels?" Tenn and Tak both gave him looks; Tenn's was confused while Tak's was unimpressed.

"Yes, zombie weasels." Zim replied as he made his way to the entrance to his backyard with the two girls following him. "They were a horrific experiment gone wrong courtesy of a certain S.I.R. unit. They devastated my lab, and ran rampant through the city."

"Why not leave them to kill off the humans?"

"They weren't friendly to Irkens either, and I quite like living," Zim answered as he threw the door open after putting on his human disguise of a pair of contacts and a pompadour wig, and rushed outside. "I must ensure that there wasn't a breach in their containment. If they get out, then we could all die."

"Yeah, that's probably bad." Was the only response he received from Tenn.

"PROBABLY?!" Tak shouted in alarm. "No, it's DEFINITELY a problem!" She then turned away from her fellow Irkens and headed toward the lab. "You both go make sure there hasn't been a security breach and I'll keep an eye on the perimeter cameras."

Without any time to spare, Zim and Tenn walked out to the backyard and went over to the grate. Tenn hesitantly looked down into it while Zim slowly pulled a hidden lever to let the gate open slightly.

"Do you see anything?"

"No, just bones." Tenn replied. "Bones, and rotting flesh, and-."

Suddenly, as if from out of nowhere, Dib came rushing out of the grate, riding on the back of a giant zombie weasel. "HAHAHA! I am Dib! King of the Zombie Weasels!"

"Dib-Stink! What are you doing?" Zim felt a mixture of outrage and fear at the sight of his nemesis riding such a creature. "You were there for the incident! You know how deadly those things are! Are you trying to kill us all?!"

"No," Dib smirked as he pointed a finger at the duo of aliens. "Just you and the rest of your awful species."

"How dare you insult the Irken race!" Zim glared daggers at him. "We are far superior to you and the rest of your vile species!"

"Vile? We're not the ones who have claws and antennae!" Dib countered defensively.

"But you are quite ugly, and stupid too." Zim rebutted with fire in his ruby eyes.

Tenn, trying to hide how upset she was about all the hurtful insults toward her species, and also a little annoyed with their argument, broke it up by asking. "Wait! This is The Dib? The Human who's been trying to catch Zim for the past three years?"

"Yes, I am that Dib." Dib smiled wickedly. "I'm glad to hear that my legacy has reached out to the void of space."

"What are you doing here?" Tenn asked curiously.

Dib pointed once more at the duo of Irkens. "I am here because I am going to stop all of you foul alien scum from destroying my planet!"

"Destroy your planet? I'm just here to see if Zim will end up being my mate." Tenn replied honestly.

"What? Irkens mate?" Dib blinked in confusion.

Zim shook his head. "Not all of them. Mating Rights are traditionally reserved for those of high status. The majority of Irkens are produced in an underground laboratory located near the core of our home planet. Not that it matters, you cannot do anything with that information."

"I still have to protect Earth from you!" Dib glared at Zim hatefully.

"I have no desire to harm the Earth. I simply wish to have it willingly join the Irken Empire. However, that will never happen. Therefore, the only other way is if I take Earth by force." Zim explained himself with hands raised in defense.

"That will never happen. I won't allow it." At some point, he had dismounted his weasel. Leaping back onto his steed's back, Dib pointed forward from the back of his mount and shouted out a command. "Jerry, attack!"

The weasel beast let out a monstrous roar that caused Zim to let out a girlishly loud shriek. The undead creature then lunged at the duo of aliens. Luckily, before he could strike, a laserblast cut his charge short and killed it instantly.

"Oh," Tenn offered an innocent smile while holding her laser pistol in one hand. "I'm sorry. Was that meant to do something?"

"No, Jerry!" Dib glared at Tenn. "Jerry was my friend, and you killed him. You bastard! Now I must kill you!"

Dib was about to attack the red eyed female when a no longer afraid Zim got in his way and defended Tenn. "Dib-Pig, this is your one warning. Leave now before I call your sibling unit."

"No! Not the Purple Menace! I'm sorry. I promise I'll leave." He scurried away before another breath could be drawn.

Once he was gone, Tenn turned to face the red eyed male. "Will he be back?"

"Probably." Zim shrugged. "If he does come, then I will be ready for him."

"Okay." Tenn's stomach then growled, earning a blush from the embarrassed girl.

"We can worry about that later." Zim waved it off with a smile. "For now, why don't we get something to eat? Just the two of us?"

"You mean, like a date?" Tenn asked hopefully.

Zim shrugged. "If you would like it to be one."

Tenn squealed in delight before grabbing him by the arm and dragging him off. "C'mon then! Let's go!"

Zim couldn't help but chuckle at the enthusiasm on display from the usually quiet girl. He began to think about her, and wondered how he hadn't noticed her yet amongst all the girls in this contest. Shaking his head, he decided it best to focus on the present and offer her as good a time as he could.

' _It is the least Zim can do after ignoring her these past few days.'_ He thought as she led him into his own kitchen. ' _Let us hope this date doesn't end with her being kidnapped or me having to fight a giant robot.'_

 _ **To Be Continued...**_


End file.
